I'm in Catalina right now. Eric decided to bring his laptop, so I'm taking advantage of it to record some thoughs I had in the middle of the night last night
I woke up at 1 a.m. and couldn't get back to sleep. Par for the course, except that usually happens around 4 a.m. I didn't want to be up for the day after only 3 hours of sleep. I tossed and turned for about 30 minutes and then decided to get my iPhone and listen to some of the relaxation podcasts I had downloaded. They are supposedly for coping with breast cancer.
There was one called "The Gift." In it, she directs you to think of a place where you feel safe. I tried to visualize what it looks like when I feel like I am in God's arms. I think of it as being "in the shelter of the shadow of His wings." There are numerous references to this place in Scripture. God is also my strong tower, a shelter in the storm. But what would that practially look like? I didn't have a chance to think about it too much because the podcast went on. She directs you to imagine a person that you respect and admire. Instantly, Jesus popped into my mind. This person comes towards you and gives you a hug. Okay, that one is easy for me to imagine. After awhile, this person gives you a gift. It is something that you need to get through your difficult situation.
What gift would Jesus give me to help me cope with what I'm going through? In the short term, I need rest. But as I thought about it, the obvious answer came. The gift He has given me is eternal life--the power over death. By His death on the cross on my behalf, I am brought into fellowship spiritually with God. That started the second I put my faith in Him and will last forever. The body that I am in now will die. Whether it is from cancer or being hit by a bus in a week. But that abudant relationship that I have with God and other believers will never die. Cancer cannot win. Jesus fought the battle for my soul. It is finished.
After the podcast, I continued to ponder these things. A verse came to mind: "Come, all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28) I repeated that over and over in my mind. Every time I thought about how I was unable to sleep, I would repeat that verse in my mind. Over and over. I eventually drifted off to sleep. I realize now that Jesus gave me the short term gift I needed in the middle of the night. Thank you Jesus!
About this blog
I was diagnosed with breast cancer on June 11, 2010. As a result of my treatment, I have lymphedema in my left arm. I draw my strength from the Lord, as well as my family's Scots-Irish heritage. Our Graham's were a tough and scrappy bunch of fighters on the Scottish/English border. They came to America and continued to fight when necessary: in the American Revolution; the Civil War; and my brother is a Captain in the U.S. Army. My ancestors settled this country against all odds. My great-grandmothers on both sides of the family were pioneer women who settled the West. Along with that heritage, and the full armor of God, I am walking the walk and fighting the good fight.