Anyway, this morning I was off the steroid, and I decided not to take the anti-nausea meds. I want to see how I am reacting to the chemo drugs.
I felt pretty good this morning. I did a little 30 minute low-impact cardio workout. I want to be able to move a little every day. The workout itself wasn't intense, but I'm hoping that being able to keep it up every day, even a little, will help me get through this better. Afterwards, I took the kids to church just as I had hoped to. I wore my new T-shirt that says GOD is so much bigger than cancer. It was a wonderful time of worship and fellowship this morning and I am SO glad that I was able to go.
We went to lunch at Applebees with my parents. At lunch, I started to notice a little "thing" in my throat. Kind of like a sore throat in waiting. A little heartburn too. I mentioned it to my mom, and she said she was having the same kind of feeling. Either it is the weather, or she is having sympathy pains and I am having throat issues. We'll see.
When I came home, Eric had left for his business trip for Boston. Olivier helped me get Jean-Marc into bed for his nap and then I went into my room to rest for the afternoon. I didn't really feel tired, but it was nice to spend a few hours relaxing. I read my book, and actually did get about 90 minutes of good sleep. When I got up at 4, Olivier, Jean-Marc and I walked Lucie around the neighborhood. It was okay, but I'm a little paranoid about the sun, even though I wore a hat and long sleeved shirt.
I don't really feel any differently than I did before. This could just be a day where I was a little tired. I know the effects of chemo are cumulative, and this day on the successive times will probably be more severe. I should count my blessings. It is kind of a schizoprenic thing, though. On the one hand, I'm on heavy duty chemo drugs undergoing cancer treatment. But I feel okay, and life goes on. But I'm going through life sort of through the motions. On the outside I am doing things that "normal" people do. But on the inside, I'm thinking about cancer, chemo and everything else that goes along with it.
Before now, when people would ask "How are you feeling?" it seemed a little strange. I felt FINE. In fact, it was hard to believe I had cancer. Even after surgery, I felt okay, other than surgical healing issues. But that could have been any surgery. Now I'm in chemo, and each day is a new thing. It still feels strange to be asked, but it makes more sense now. It will even more so when I have the outward signs of cancer treatment. You know, the bald head. Now that is something to look forward to. I understand that I should be expecting that to happen before my next round of chemo. So we'll see.
My prayer requests:
- That my side effects this round continue to be mild. Especially since Eric is on a business trip this week.
- That I be able to "live" with the kids in the present. It is their last week of summer before school starts. I hope it can be a good one for them.
- That these chemo drugs in my system are doing their job, disrupting the growth of any cancer that may be in there.
- That I be able to rest tonight. I don't want to take the Ativan tonight, since I am not on the steroid. I pray that I be able to sleep anyway. Ativan is habit-forming. I've never been much of a medicine taker. I hate taking one drug to counteract another, and then another to counteract that one.