How it goes

This is just the hair that I lost in the shower this morning. I put a quarter next to it for a size reference. I don't dare touch it or style it much because it will just fall out.

I wore a hat when I went out to do some grocery shopping and when I took it off, there was a ton of hair left in the hat.

The physical sensation is strange. It reminds me of the feel that I would have after wearing a tight ponytail for a day. Or even more accurate is this: When I was a kid, I took dance classes and once a year, we had "THE SHOW." The final act was always ballet, and we had to wear our hair in these super-tight buns. I was usually too tired to take it out at night, so when I finally did the next morning it really hurt. That is how it feels on my head.

I do want to get the buzz cut soon. I was thinking maybe I could wait until after Tuesday night, because I have to take Olivier to his boy scout meeting. But then I realized-Isabelle has girl scouts the next day, and I don't really want to be buzzed for that either. I guess its never going to be a convenient time to lose my hair! I think it's better to be buzzed than to be sadly thin with scalp showing through.

Despite the tone of these recent posts, I am doing more than obsessing over my hair--honestly! I got two new cookbooks that are fantastic: "The Cancer Fighting Kitchen" and "One Bite at a Time." Both are by Rebecca Katz. It is fascinating learning about the "culinary pharmacy" that we have available to us. I've chosen some recipies to make this week in preparation for Round Two. I'm going to make a "Magical Mineral Broth" that serves as a soup stock, as well as a base for other recipes. If I get really sick, I could even sip this on its own. I went out to my favorite grocery store, Jimbos, and bought all the ingredients I needed. There were a few new items as well-like kombu, which is a Japanese sea vegetable. Anyway, I got it all home and chopped it all up. I figured I could make it today and store it for later. I realized about halfway into it that I do not have a large enough pot! I think I'll go out tomorrow morning and get a big stock pot for soups. I think planning and cooking really good and healthy food is going to be an anchor for me this fall.

I want the rest of the family to develop healthier tastes as well. My kids do eat vegetables, probably more than most. But not enough of them. I was tickled pink today at lunch. Isabelle asked me to make some pasta, knowing it would be whole wheat. I said okay, but only if I could make her a small salad to go with it. Deal! I made them each a salad with greens, tomatoes, carrots, and strawberries. Eating the rainbow! It was great.

Isabelle and I watched a movie with Miley Cyrus in it, "The Last Song." From the ads, it looked like a teenage romance movie. It was. But there was also a storyline in it about Miley's character's father ....DYING OF CANCER! Yikes. I was able to explain to Isabelle that his cancer was not like mine, and his had spread. Mine has not spread. It was an okay movie. Obviously a tearjerker, though.

My prayer requests:

• That the hair loss/buzz cut not be traumatic. It is a sign that the chemo drugs are doing what they are supposed to do. I need to keep that in mind and I clean up the hair all over the place. That I be able to find a "convenient" time to get it done and that it not be a sad experience.
• That the family be healthy. I realized last night that this is another form of spiritual warfare. Last night, everyone in the family had a physical complaint! Isabelle was so tired she threw up her dinner. Jean-Marc has hives that we are trying to diagnose the irritant. Olivier had a bad sunburn from his day out with scouts. Eric was fighting the cold Olivier had last week, and I have cancer. Is that ridiculous or what? Pray that we can overcome these physical complaints and keep our eyes on the Great Physician, our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.