Glimpses in the mirror

I'm pretty comfortable going out now with a scarf on my head, even though it screams CANCER PATIENT! Whatever. This is what I'm dealing with, get over it people. I figure the best I can do is be in good spirits and have a smile on my face. I truly am thankful at how God is sustaining me through this trial.

I made my debut at church yesterday with the cancer look. Everyone was very nice. Everyone who knows me already knew about the cancer, this just brought it home. I am so blessed by my family in Christ. It truly is an amazing thing to be a part of His church. Being lifted up in prayer by so many people all of the time. It is precious.

Yesterday afternoon I went out to do some grocery shopping, came home and spent hours in the kitchen working on a veggie lasagna from my anti-cancer cookbook. It was a long haul because you had to make a "ricotta" cheese out of tofu and herbs, as well as cooking 2 big bunches of greens. I used rainbow chard. It also involved caramelizing 4 red onions and cooking the wheat pasta. Eric and I liked it. Olivier kind of spit it out saying it tasted more like a salad than lasagna! Good thing I was able to freeze single portions for the grownups later on!

I'm still losing my hair in dribs and drabs. Last night when I was bathing Jean-Marc, I sat on the side of the tub and would dip my hand in the water and rub it over my head to pull out hairs. I got a lot out that way. It's less painful than the lint roller method. After doing it just a few minutes, there was this fuzzy mass at the bottom of the tub. Kind of gross.

I'll be going along doing my business in the house, feeling normal. Then I'll pass by a mirror and catch a glimpse of myself. Yowza! As the hair gets thinner and thinner it is shocking. I'm just a few days away from complete baldness. I appreciate everyone's comments about how good I look. But still....it is a shock to see a bald stranger staring back at you. Who is that person, and who let her into my house??

Isabelle and I did some pilates yesterday. I figure it will help her with her riding by strengthening her core. Heck, I could use all the exercise I can get. I'm a little sore today! (I like that feeling.) I think I'll walk with my girlfriends after we drop the kids off at school for my exercise today. I don't have much more energy for anything more intense, I'm afraid. A bit tired. That could be because I was so busy yesterday. I'm thankful that a friend is brining dinner tonight.

My prayer requests:

• That I learn to get comfortable with that person in the mirror.
• That my energy and strength continues to be renewed by the Lord.
• That as this round of chemo works through my system and my white blood cell count go down, that I don't get sick.