About this blog

I was diagnosed with breast cancer on June 11, 2010. As a result of my treatment, I have lymphedema in my left arm. I draw my strength from the Lord, as well as my family's Scots-Irish heritage. Our Graham's were a tough and scrappy bunch of fighters on the Scottish/English border. They came to America and continued to fight when necessary: in the American Revolution; the Civil War; and my brother is a Captain in the U.S. Army. My ancestors settled this country against all odds. My great-grandmothers on both sides of the family were pioneer women who settled the West. Along with that heritage, and the full armor of God, I am walking the walk and fighting the good fight.

Friday, October 22, 2010

A Psalm for going into chemotherapy

 1 Plead my cause, O LORD, with those who strive with me;
         Fight against those who fight against me.  (cancer cells)
 2 Take hold of shield and buckler,
         And stand up for my help.
 3 Also draw out the spear, 

(the cytoxan, taxotere, and Your mighty power)
         And stop those who pursue me.  (cancer cells)
         Say to my soul,
         “I am your salvation.”  

(Thank you Lord, no matter what, I know I am saved)
 4 Let those be put to shame and brought to dishonor
         Who seek after my life;
         Let those be turned back and brought to confusion 

(I love the image of these cells being confused into destruction!)
         Who plot my hurt.
 5 Let them be like chaff before the wind,
         And let the angel of the LORD chase them.
 6 Let their way be dark and slippery,
         And let the angel of the LORD pursue them.
 7 For without cause they have hidden their net for me in a pit,
         Which they have dug without cause for my life.  

(Yes, cancer is trying to kill me, has been for awihle before I knew it)
 8 Let destruction come upon him unexpectedly,
         And let his net that he has hidden catch himself;
         Into that very destruction let him fall.  

(Yes, but we have turned it around on them..we cut out as many with the surgeons knife, and now we are after them with poison. Thank you God for the medical team and technology that You have allowed to be developed)
 9 And my soul shall be joyful in the LORD;
         It shall rejoice in His salvation.       

(Yes, regardless of the trial, I am able to rejoice in the Lord. His joy is my strength)
 10 All my bones shall say,
         “LORD, who is like You,
         Delivering the poor from him who is too strong for him,
         Yes, the poor and the needy from him who plunders him?”
 11 Fierce witnesses rise up;
         They ask me things that I do not know.
 12 They reward me evil for good,
         To the sorrow of my soul.
 13 But as for me, when they were sick,
         My clothing was sackcloth;
         I humbled myself with fasting;
         And my prayer would return to my own heart.
 14 I paced about as though he were my friend or brother;
         I bowed down heavily, as one who mourns for his mother.
 15 But in my adversity they rejoiced
         And gathered together;
         Attackers gathered against me,
         And I did not know it;
         They tore at me and did not cease;
 16 With ungodly mockers at feasts
         They gnashed at me with their teeth.
 17 Lord, how long will You look on?
         Rescue me from their destructions,
         My precious life from the lions. 

(Yes Lord, rescue me from this disease if it is Your will. I know you are in control and able.)
 18 I will give You thanks in the great assembly;
         I will praise You among many people.
 19 Let them not rejoice over me who are wrongfully my enemies;
         Nor let them wink with the eye who hate me without a cause.
 20 For they do not speak peace,
         But they devise deceitful matters
         Against the quiet ones in the land.
 21 They also opened their mouth wide against me,
         And said, “Aha, aha!
         Our eyes have seen it.
 22 This You have seen, O LORD;
         Do not keep silence.
         O Lord, do not be far from me.

I cannot imagine going through this without You near me Lord. You are always there. When I cannot feel you it is because I have wandered away. But you are faithful to wait for me to come back with open and loving arms, my Abba.)

 23 Stir up Yourself, and awake to my vindication,
         To my cause, my God and my Lord.
 24 Vindicate me, O LORD my God, according to Your righteousness;
         And let them not rejoice over me.
 25 Let them not say in their hearts, “Ah, so we would have it!”
         Let them not say, “We have swallowed him up.”
 26 Let them be ashamed and brought to mutual confusion
         Who rejoice at my hurt;
         Let them be clothed with shame and dishonor
         Who exalt themselves against me.
 27 Let them shout for joy and be glad,
         Who favor my righteous cause;
         And let them say continually,
         “Let the LORD be magnified,
         Who has pleasure in the prosperity of His servant.” 

(This goes for all of you on my "team." Be glad all you who are favoring my cause through prayer, practical help, and kindness.  There are so many "little" things that people have done for my family and I since June. I am so thankful for you. Keep it coming, we aren't through this yet. But through this time, it is my prayer that the Lord will be magnified in your heart and that you can see Him working in this situation.  Anything good in it is a gift from Him. He is in control, on His throne. I trust Him with everything.  Do you?

 28 And my tongue shall speak of Your righteousness
         And of Your praise all the day long. (Psalm 35, New King James Version)  

Amen!  We are not "rightous" or "good people" apart from the saving work of Jesus Christ on the cross. Only God is good to begin with.  And he sacrificed on the cross (Read Psalm 22) so to give us that gift. Thank you Jesus for bringing me into your grace so I may call myself your child. I will praise you all the day long, even with an IV stuck in my arm!

1 comment:

  1. I sense cancer cells (any that may be left in their ranks) quaking in their boots. A halfway point-turning of the tide, a point of no return, a utter demolition of the "morale" of any straggling cancerous troops. Truly a power stronger than any other has spoken. Peace and joy to you today Tonya, as you go into battle. You are a Warrior!