In big events of my life when I've had an emotional upheaval, I've journaled as a way to work out my thoughts and feelings. After I met Eric and Club Med on that whirlwind week in 1994, I came home and wrote pages and pages on legal pads as a way to relive each moment we had. It's tucked away in a secret place now. :-)
So too, when I found out I had breast cancer last week, I wanted to journal it. Things happened so fast, so much has gone on in the 5 days since we found out I don't know if I can recapture those first days. I bought a paper journal over the weekend and tried to start, but had so much to write and was so emotionally drained that I could only do a few pages. Since I type much faster than I can write, I decided to journal the modern way with a blog.
This will be a way to keep everyone updated on how I'm doing too. I am so blessed to have so many praying for me. I really can feel the prayer. I'll be going about my day trying to be "normal" and I'll suddenly feel overwhelmed by the Spirit and I just know that it is in those times that I am being lifted up by someone, somewhere. Please, please, keep the prayers coming.
This is going to be uncensored, though. I don't want to have to choose my words and worry that someone will be offended. This is where I am coming from, this is who I am right now. I'm going through something huge and will have my bad moments. I really want to fight this battle and be a good witness to the Lord Jesus Christ.
I know that God works ALL things out for the good of those who love Him. (Romans 8:28) I am definitely in that group. I've said in the past that I trust God in all things. Now it is time to live it. But I do struggle with fear, which I know is from the enemy. I've read that once treatment is started it gets better. Right now, waiting around is probably the hardest part.
I don't have a lot of time right now to write more, but I wanted to put some specific prayer requests out for those awesome prayer warriors:
1. Pray that the hormone receptor results come back "postitive." (I'm not 100% sure what that means, but they tell me that is better)
2. Pray that I am able to move my oncology consult from June 25th to an earlier date. I need to start chemo ASAP and need to get in to see them.
3. Pray that the oncologist that I do see is a good one that is competent and that we trust.
4. Pray that the cancer has not spread beyond the 2 places we know it is. It is in at least 1 lymph node, and that is a concern.
5. Pray that the MRI I will be taking in the next week will not show any other areas of concern that would necessitate additional biopsies. With a biopsy comes a poke, but even worse...more waiting.
6. Pray for my kids. It is rough on them to have our lives turned upside down like this.
God bless you all. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
Hi Tonya,
ReplyDeleteYou are a hero to so many. Since we met six years ago, I have been inspired by your wisdom, strength, and your fighting spirit. You literally changed the lives of so many women, including mine. I'm honored to call you my friend. You are a warrior and you will win this fight! No matter what, I'm here for you, my friend. I believe in you. With much love,
Susie
Oh Tonya, I'm stunned by your news. No one can navigate a medical maze like you can. I guess God knows your skills are needed in the war on breast cancer. I do hope there have been enough pioneers before you to give you the support you and your family need to find the fast lane to recovery. If I remember correctly, we are the same age. You are my first peer to be diagnosed with breast cancer. Know that I am praying for you and Eric and the kids. Love, Sally
ReplyDeleteHi Tonya, I heard the news of your battle a couple of Sundays ago. I have been praying for you since then. Erin told me about your blog site so hear I am. Wanted you to know that I'm hear to help you fight in prayer.
ReplyDeleteIn God's love,
Amy Boteler(from bible study) :)