In big events of my life when I've had an emotional upheaval, I've journaled as a way to work out my thoughts and feelings. After I met Eric and Club Med on that whirlwind week in 1994, I came home and wrote pages and pages on legal pads as a way to relive each moment we had. It's tucked away in a secret place now. :-)
So too, when I found out I had breast cancer last week, I wanted to journal it. Things happened so fast, so much has gone on in the 5 days since we found out I don't know if I can recapture those first days. I bought a paper journal over the weekend and tried to start, but had so much to write and was so emotionally drained that I could only do a few pages. Since I type much faster than I can write, I decided to journal the modern way with a blog.
This will be a way to keep everyone updated on how I'm doing too. I am so blessed to have so many praying for me. I really can feel the prayer. I'll be going about my day trying to be "normal" and I'll suddenly feel overwhelmed by the Spirit and I just know that it is in those times that I am being lifted up by someone, somewhere. Please, please, keep the prayers coming.
This is going to be uncensored, though. I don't want to have to choose my words and worry that someone will be offended. This is where I am coming from, this is who I am right now. I'm going through something huge and will have my bad moments. I really want to fight this battle and be a good witness to the Lord Jesus Christ.
I know that God works ALL things out for the good of those who love Him. (Romans 8:28) I am definitely in that group. I've said in the past that I trust God in all things. Now it is time to live it. But I do struggle with fear, which I know is from the enemy. I've read that once treatment is started it gets better. Right now, waiting around is probably the hardest part.
I don't have a lot of time right now to write more, but I wanted to put some specific prayer requests out for those awesome prayer warriors:
1. Pray that the hormone receptor results come back "postitive." (I'm not 100% sure what that means, but they tell me that is better)
2. Pray that I am able to move my oncology consult from June 25th to an earlier date. I need to start chemo ASAP and need to get in to see them.
3. Pray that the oncologist that I do see is a good one that is competent and that we trust.
4. Pray that the cancer has not spread beyond the 2 places we know it is. It is in at least 1 lymph node, and that is a concern.
5. Pray that the MRI I will be taking in the next week will not show any other areas of concern that would necessitate additional biopsies. With a biopsy comes a poke, but even worse...more waiting.
6. Pray for my kids. It is rough on them to have our lives turned upside down like this.
God bless you all. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
About this blog
I was diagnosed with breast cancer on June 11, 2010. As a result of my treatment, I have lymphedema in my left arm. I draw my strength from the Lord, as well as my family's Scots-Irish heritage. Our Graham's were a tough and scrappy bunch of fighters on the Scottish/English border. They came to America and continued to fight when necessary: in the American Revolution; the Civil War; and my brother is a Captain in the U.S. Army. My ancestors settled this country against all odds. My great-grandmothers on both sides of the family were pioneer women who settled the West. Along with that heritage, and the full armor of God, I am walking the walk and fighting the good fight.