A big fear of mine was that the cancer had spread past the lymph nodes. Considering that it was already there for who knows how long....the possibility was there. I was so afraid to find out the results from last week's PET scan.
Yesterday, I e-mailed my surgeon-the one who ordered the scan. A couple hours later she e-mailed me back saying that there were no other areas of concern beyond the 2 that we knew of on the lymph node and the left breast. A sigh of relief washed over me and I started yelling, "PRAISE GOD! PRAISE GOD! PRAISE GOD!" The kids were startled and started asking "What?! What?!" I told them and they were unimpressed. But I hadn't really shared with them how scared I was. I started singing around the house one of the old Sunday school classics: "My God is so big, so strong, and so mighty, there is nothing my God cannot do!"
It was a very good piece of news. Now that I know what I am dealing with, I can face it. It is still serious--stage 2 at best, possibly even a stage 3. But it is contained. Thank you Jesus. That is a direct answer to prayer.
Now I can think about my options and what I want. Other than getting rid of the cancer, I don't know what I want. Is saving the breast that important to me? Depending on the size of the tumor there, it may not be an option. Last night, I was able to dig into one of the books I bought at Barnes & Noble, "Be a Survivor" by Vladimir Lange, MD. He spent some time talking about reconstruction options. That is a mindbender as well. But I'll save that for another post.
Thank you all for your continued prayer and support. Here is today's list:
1. That the cancer will STAY WHERE IT IS. It's a deer in the headlights, and its days are numbered!
2. For clarity in the decision making process. Chemo first or surgery? Lumpectomy or mastectomy?
3. That the oncology appointment be moved up from Friday and that the doctor I have the appointment with be 'the one.'
4. For peace for my family. I'm not going through this alone, it is definitely a family affair and it is putting stress on all of us. Pray that the Lord would grant us his grace and peace. That we would be able to not lose sight of Him during this time.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4 (NIV)