I'll have to re-do all of the lab work I did last week because it will be to far from the surgery date. (Blood work & a pregnancy test) I'm glad I didn't make the appointment for the chest X-ray before, I'd probably have to do that again as well. I'll also need to go in and see the surgeon again for a pre-op appointment. That is set for July 8th. Actually, I'm glad to go in and see her again. Especially now that she has the data from the MRI and PET Scan. I'm hoping to be able to make an appointment with the nurse coordinator, Judy, on that same day.
But I am really disappointed to have to wait 3 weeks before surgery. The thought of these cancerous cells dividing and possibly spreading past the lymph nodes is scary. They are supposed to call me if something earlier opens up. My surgeon told me that my case is one with the highest priority. But still. 3 weeks. That is longer than I've known I have breast cancer.
I've got to trust that this will be okay. That waiting 3 more weeks won't mean the spread of this disease any further. I know a lot of prayer went into this surgery date. God is in control.
In the meantime, I've got more stuff to do. Another pre-op visit with the surgeon. A visit with the nurse coordinator down at Zion. I have at least 2 more visits to the lab for blood draws and a chest X-ray. Then there is genetic testing (I'll talk about that in a separate post). Aside from the cancer, I'd like to get my teeth cleaned. The kids and I are due for it. I definitely need to do that before chemo. A massage! A pedicure. I need to buy some button up the front shirts for post-op days. Most of my shirts are pullover. That is going to be really hard to do for awhile.
Eric and I also have decided to do a little mini family vacation next week. If we can get reservations, we are thinking about going to Catalina Island for a few days next week. We want to do something fun as a family before the treatment begins. Our original plans for a trip to Idaho were nixed because of this disease. We'd like to have some happy 2010 summer memories. I don't know how far out of my mind the cancer will be. But the kids will have a good time. Plus...I'll be able to wear my new bathing suits with my "normal" breasts. Kind of weird to think that it'll be one of the last times. I think I have some processing and grieving to do over the loss of my breasts. I know its the right decision. But after nursing 3 kids for over 3 years....They were really good at that. I was a milk machine!
My prayer requests today are:
- If it is at all possible, and in Gods will, that this surgery date will be moved up.
- Sleep. Eric and I both aren't sleeping well this week. I thought after making the decision for the bilateral mastectomy, I would sleep like a baby last night. But I woke up in the night with all kinds of thoughts running through my head. (Well...maybe it was a birthy mojo, because I found out this morning that my sister, Tara, gave birth last night at home to my new niece, Katherine Marie. :-) )
- That regardless of the surgery date, that this cancer does not spread. I feel like every day makes me a ticking time bomb. That some mischievous cells will burst out of my lymph node and into other areas of my body.
As always, thank you all for your prayers and support!