I've seen other women in the hair regrowth phase and they are able to spike their hair and look kind of cool. So I bought some wax and have tried to do that a little bit. The problem is that as it comes in, it is kind of curly, so spikes don't really work. It has a tendency to stick out on the sides. A few days ago, I thought I'd go with it and just see how it would look sticking out all over-kind of an all over spikey thing. As my kids would say....it was an epic fail! Needless to say, it was a hat day that day!
I am blessed to have a wonderful hairdresser friend who was able to fit me in yesterday on short notice. (I called her in desperation during the "hat" day!) She actually cut some of the hair to make it look like a short haircut. It definitely looks better, and I appreciated getting some advice on how to deal with this hair situation. It basically is just going to take some time. I met a fellow survivor a few weeks ago in church who told me that when she was bald, she promised God that she would never complain about another "bad hair day" if He would just give her hair again. She said she never complained since.
I'm not so gracious. I'm not really complaining. It is just something completely new that I need to get used to.
I'm getting a lot of very nice comments from people and I appreciate everyone's support. I can't help but feel awkward about it. I've never worn it this short before-a shoulder length bob has historically been the hairdo that worked for me. One friend pointed out today, that I should look at this experience as a way of "experimenting" with shorter hairdos. I suppose that is an optimistic way of looking at it. Being an optimistic person, I could get behind that way of thinking. Another friend commented today that with this new look, no one would ever know that I had cancer.
That is a good point. Another way of putting part of it behind me, although it will always be a part of who I am. It sounds good to talk of cancer in the past tense!
My ongoing prayer request now is that the cancer never come back. That I be able to make clean and healthy lifestyle choices that will make my body an inhospitable host to cancer. But even more than that, I pray that God would keep the cancer from coming back. I know that I can do everything in my power to prevent recurrence through diet and exercise. But ultimately, it is in the hands of God. I pray that it His will that I be cancer free. Of course, I want His will in my life. So if it is His will that the cancer come back, I pray for the grace and strength to bear it and glorify Him in the process. (But I'd rather glorify Him cancer-free!) But in the words of Jesus, "not my will, but Thy will be done."